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Evil Treats from a Nice Person

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Dear (fill in the blank),

 

So I’ve got a few letters I feel I need to pass on to people. No, these aren’t crazy emails from the loons that write me from time to time. These are ones I feel the need to write to others.

Dear Nordstroms,

Though I do enjoy your store (a little too much my husband and credit card may say), you might want to consider retraining your staff in tact.
For when trying on flats this last week (since I am injured in the ankle AGAIN and cannot wear heals) it was not the best move by your sales associate to point to my stomach and say “oh of course, with you this far along” to my statement of “it hard to get used to flats but I need to”. Let us keep in mind I was not wearing anything baggy and he was putting the shoe on the foot that is wrapped in tape. He was however smart enough to ask if I wanted another sales associate. Um, yeah.
If that was not bad enough, I then walked over to purses, only to have the belly pointed at again and a comment about me being a new mom.

Sincerely,
The very not pregnant Peabody

Dear Teenage Boy behind me in traffic,

Don’t bother to rev up your faded black piece of shit Honda. You really don’t want to bring attention to that thing. Girls like doors that don’t have duct tape on them.

Sincerely,
Peabody (who drives a slightly better piece of shit than you, but is smart enough not to rev it)

Dear Husband,

Thanks so much for finally being able to locate the dishwasher. I am beyond pleased that you have learned how to place your dishes on top of the dishwasher. However, if you just look down, there is this thing called a door on it. It opens. You can actually place dishes inside it. What a concept.

Love,
Your always wonderful and sexy (even in those green sweatpants) wife Peabody

P.S. Though please refrain from being helpful and putting the dishes away. I never find them for weeks. 😉

 

Okay, I am sure I have a few more in me, but you people have lives (well, some of you 😛 ). So awhile back when it was too hot to bake I made some no bake cookies from a cookbook called Cookie Swap: Creative Treats to Share Throughout the Year by Julia M. Usher. I had planned to do more from it and never did because the weather wanted to reach the 100’s.

From the cover of the book, I was a little scared. Four beautifully decorated cookies. I am not a good decorator. Period. End of story. So though it was lovely, I thought to myself, what on Earth am I going to make from this. Lucky for me the those are on the cover for the mere fact that they are cute. And once you open it up there is a myriad of cookies to chose from. Some to be decorated and some not so much. Some that are decorative, but not hard to do, like these really cute meringue ghost to make for Halloween (there is some really great Halloween stuff in it!).

Since Summer was coming to an end, I thought I would give on last hurrah from the Fun in the Sun section of the book. There are things like Pina Colada Beach Balls, Lemonade Slices, and Chocolate-Chai Burgers on Sesame Seed Buns (they are macaroons). But what caught my eye were the S’mores Bars.

I was just about to top these babies with marshmallows when my husband came in and asked what they were. I told him. He was all excited till he saw the marshmallows. Then the frown came. He doesn’t like marshmallows. I know. He has issues. So I made them without and just added the marshmallows for the photos. That is why they are a little piled on top. Plus, that way, I got to set them on fire other than putting them under the broiler. It’s always a good day when I get to set something on fire. 😉 These are like a nice thick brownie on top of graham cracker crust…so yeah, no brainer, they are good. I would do the full recipe and use the marshmallows (which the whole recipe is here) though. Unless of course, you  have a weird husband too.

If you are a cookie lover/baker you should give this book a look.

Oh, and I guess I should mention this is my 500th post!

S’mores Bars

Graham Cracker Crust

2 ¼ cups graham cracker crumbs (15-17 crackers)…I used 18
1/3  cup granulated sugar
¾ cup unsalted butter, melted
Fudge Brownie Filling:

6 ounce unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1 cup plus 2 TBSP unsalted butter, chopped into TBSP sized pieces
2 ½ cups granulated sugar
5 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
1 ¾ cups all-purpose flour

1 ½ cups pecan halves, chopped
4 cups (packed) miniature marshmallows

 

Line a 10 x 15x 2 inch glass baking dish with foil, leaving a 1-inch over hang around the top edge of the pan. Smooth out any big wrinkles in the foils and then lightly coat the foil with nonstick cooking spray.

Preheat oven to 350F.

Combine the graham cracker crumbs and sugar in a small bowl. Gradually add the melted butter until the crumbs just hold together when squeezed in your palm. Press the mixture into an even ¼ inch layer on the bottom of th prepared pan. Run a smooth bottomed measuring cup over the crust to pack and level it.

Combine the chocolate and butter in a large bowl that fists a double boiler. Place the bowl over barely simmering water and stir as needed until the chocolate and butter are melted. Remove from the heat and whisk in the sugar, followed by the beaten eggs and vanilla extract. Stir in the flour, mixing until smooth. Pour the batter on top of the graham cracker crust and level with a small offset spatula.

Scatter chopped nuts evenly over the batter. Bake 30-35 minutes, or until cake tester inserted in brownie center comes out with dark, damp crumbs on it. Do not overbake. Set on a wire rack and cool completely in the pan.

Distribute the marshmallows evenly over the brownie top. Place the pan under the broiler in the top third of the oven for about 1 minute, or until he marshmallows are puffy and golden brown. Watch carefully and rotate the pan regularly, as the marshmallow can easily burn. Cool until the topping is firm and easily cut without sticking.

Remove the brownies from the pan in one block by gently pulling up on the foil overhang. Place directly on a cutting board. Remove all foil and cut into 2-inch squares. For the neatest cuts, use a sharp knife, wiped clean with a warm, damp cloth between slices.

Adapted from Cookie Swap by Julie M. Usher

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Comments

  1. These bars look amazing!!!! I might have to try them when the “nesting” phase hits..

    “P.S. Though please refrain from being helpful and putting the dishes away. I never find them for weeks. ”

    I experience this too, but don’t want to discourage help! I just go on the hunt to find what I am looking for – or he just leaves the unknown stuff in the dish drainer for me to put away.

    Theresa

    Reply

  2. Your letters are epic, haha – love ’em 😀

    I gotta get that Cookie Swap book – those bars look heavenly!!

    And please – you are a PHENOMENAL decorator!! Don’t be so modest, my friend!!

    Reply

  4. Those letters are great! I really can’t choose a favorite. 🙂

    A little mini-torch-thingie (the word seems to be lost in my brain tonight) would work just as well for the melty marshmallow part, right? (The broiler is moody)

    Reply

  5. Congrats on the 500! You rock, girl!

    My husband can find the dishwasher (with a map), but for the life of him, he can’t find anything in the refrigerator. “Where is the chicken?” UM, RIGHT THERE, IT’S A 4LB CHICKEN. How can you miss one of those?! Still love him, though, he’s awesome.

    Reply

  10. I LOVE the Dear Husband letter. Of course, I don’t have a husband yet but already know that will be one of my pet peeves. Please…just put your dishes in the dishwasher…it takes, like, 5 extra seconds. 🙂 S’more anything is great!

    Reply

  12. I love your letters! 🙂 These bars look heavenly and I’m seeing more ‘smores themed desserts as of late. It’s making me crave something smores-y in the worst way and your post isn’t helping! 🙂

    Reply

  17. Happy 500th post!

    BTW, it’s not that they can’t find the dishwasher door, they actually have a defect that causes them to only be able to move their arms as far as the sink or the counter.

    Reply

  18. Congratulations on your 500th post!

    And I love those letters–I have a few in me myself. I may have to take it as a cathartic adventure to write them (at the very least).

    Reply

  19. Congratulations on your 500th post, Peabody, and on getting to light things on fire! Your letter to boys in crappy cars made me laugh, and reminded me of my roommates. See, they’re both boys who ride motorcycles, and their biggest pet peeve is guys on crappy motorcycles who have to rev their engines really loudly at stop lights. Unfortunately, rather than writing letters, they usually yell something along the lines of “Oh baby, I really want you now, yeah, rev that engine!”, which is both hysterical and super embarrassing.

    Oh, and I made snickerdoodle muffins for them, and they loved them. Another one for the win!

    Reply

  20. Wow how can you not like marshmallows?? I’m a S’mores lover!! My friend for 4th of July made S’mores brownies as well except her recipe came from the Food Network website and they didn’t call for pecans.

    I will have to check out cookbook next time I’m at the bookstore. What another one to the collection? lol

    Reply

  21. Congrats on the 500th post! I love the teenage boy letter; I’ve often pondered why teenage boys rev their POS car. They should be smart enough to duck low in the seat! And yum to smores bars I keep meaning to try those!!

    Reply

  22. Mmmm these look so decadent. I love the photo where the marshmallow is on fire. I can sympathize too regarding the emptying of the dishwasher. We have lived in the same house for eight years and my cupboards have been arranged the same way for eight years, yet my husband still insists that I move things around so he can’t find anything.

    Reply

  24. 500 posts….that’s really amazing. Congrats on not only completing all of those recipes/posts, but having the gumption to keep going. I really, really love this blog!

    Holy Gawd these look amazing! I have a “picky” husband as well (he prefers the term fastidious). Do you think these would still be good w/out the pecans? Or should I just make half with and half w/out?

    Thanks and keep on truckin’!

    Reply

  25. Dear Fabulous Peabody,

    I love your letters. Especially the one to your husband about the dishwasher. If I were to write to mine though, I’d substitute clothes hamper, washing machine, dryer, and dresser drawer for dishwasher. 😉

    Bars look great — looking forward to trying them.

    -Amy

    Reply

  28. When I saw the photo at the top of the post, my first thought was “HOLY-KIZOW” That looks abso-freaking-lutely amazing.

    Also, I know what you mean about decorated cookies. I am NOT good at that kind of stuff, and I don’t enjoy the decorating. Just the baking. But yet, people know I like cookies and they keep.giving.me.intricately.shaped.cookiecutters. I just smile and thank them. Gaaaaahhhh

    Reply

  30. These are the best thing I have seen all summer! We are going camping in a few weeks and smores are my favorite part! I am now making these to take along! Thanks so much… my son thought the fire on the marshmallows was awesome and was convined he could blow out the fire in the picture.

    Reply

  31. First of all, a HUGE CONGRATS to you on your 500th post! That’s such an accomplishment.

    Secondly, I love your letters and the bars! As usual, your photos are amazing and the flaming marshmallows are priceless!

    Reply

  32. i’m gonna copy&paste that dear husband letter and send it of to my Dear Husband!

    Dear Pea,
    Thanks for all the wonderful recipes you post here. But while I love you my waistline hates you! These bars are just one of the reasons why!
    Yours sincerely,
    The girl who put on 100 kgs since she started visiting this blog!

    Reply

  34. This summer we were visiting my husband’s aunt and uncle, and I pointed out to my husband that if his 70-year-old uncle wasn’t afraid of using the dishwasher he shouldn’t be either.
    I’d love to have that book, although I don’t care much for fancy, decorated cookies, I like them to taste good.
    Yummy bars!

    Reply

  35. mmm those look lovely!!!
    when the weather is cooler, i need to dust my oven off again and bake up a storm!

    i get a lot of pointing here too…but here, people feel more at ease telling you that you should lose weight. thanks people i don’t know, and now don’t care to know, i totally didn’t know i could stand to lose some poundage until your insightful comments saved me. *sigh*

    but absolutely loved your letters <3 take care and i’m glad your hubby could eat these (pre-marshmallow)~

    hugs 😀

    Reply

  38. Those bars look soooo good!

    You crack me up with your letters – LOVE them! I have the same problem with hubby and the dishwasher…I totally don’t understand why he can’t just bend over to put the dish IN instead of on top of the counter.

    Congrats on your 500th post!!

    Reply

  39. How I love the letters idea!! It is just wonderful.
    Congrats on your 500th post and keep up the great job.
    PS: maybe you should write a letter to hubby about not liking marshmallows 🙂

    Reply

  42. Oh my gosh, you make me laugh. Love the letters.
    And those bars look amazing! I can’t believe that last photo with the flame on the marshmallows. That’s the best dessert pic ever.
    ~Michelle

    Reply

  43. Happy 500th. Love your letters. Maybe I need a blog so I can write some myself. I also want a signboard on the roof of my car so I can type in messages to other drivers. I’d also need some programmed ones for those urgent situations. I tell my family almost every day that we have a “new” rule…everyone puts their own dishes in the dishwasher. Maybe I need to show them where it actually is. And I’m with your husband…marshmallows? Ick.

    Reply

  45. Your post cracked me up this morning. My father made the mistake of hooking up a CB radio in my mothers car for a trip (pre-cell phone)and connecting it to some sort of loudspeaker system. Needless to say its a miracle she wasn’t shot for audibly voicing those thoughts to drivers, pedestrians, etc.

    The smores bars look delicious as well. I may have to try them out for a cook out this weekend!

    Reply

  50. Happy 500th post Peabody! My husband would love these, he’s a s’more addict. I swear, if I let him, he’d eat nothing but s’mores. Maybe I’ll be nice and make him a half batch. 🙂

    Reply

  51. Nothing better than a marshmallow candle to celebrate your 500th post!

    These look FANTASTIC! I’m totally going to make them this weekend at my friend Beth’s Bakin’ Bachelorette! (We’re wild, I know)

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  52. Love the letter to your husband. Why do they ahve such a hard time with this concept. They see us do it daily. The brownies look so good and anything you can torch is great! Congrats on the 500th post.

    Reply

  53. Ummm, my husband has his own special way to get out of doing dishes. He doesn’t rinse them so all the food doesn’t get washed off in the dishwasher, which in turn I have to rewash after they come out of the dishwasher. Good times!! By the way, looks like some good brownies Peabody!!

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  54. 1. Those letters had me laughing out loud!

    2. The picture with the flame on the marshmallow has got to be one of the coolest pics I’ve ever seen

    3. The brownies look so so naughty! I’m drooling

    4. Congrats on the 500th post! That makes me wonder how many I have- I really have no idea!

    Reply

  55. 500th post! You are one prolific lady — with the posts, the snappy letters, and the baking. Congrats! And on top of everything, a flaming brownie. It looks incredible and I’d probably shove it in my mouth whether it was on fire or not.

    Reply

  56. My sister is exactly the same with the putting-away-dishes problem – I think she knows that if she does it really badly, she won’t be asked to do it again 😉
    These bars look SO addictive – congratulations on an amazing 500posts!

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  57. Pea –

    Good morning. I am so thankful that you did not leave us and that you stuck around for 500 posts. I will be making these brownies this weekend…I LOVE smores.

    THANKS!

    Reply

  59. Congratulations on 500 Peabody!! You are an amazing person! I look forward to your new entries each day and get soo excited to see a new one from you! Keep up the inspiring baking!

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  62. I love your letters! I have many of my own too…my husband knows where the dishwasher is thankfully but has yet to master the proper etiquette. Yesterday morning I heard him calling out “I only emptied half the clean dishes out. I’ll do the rest later”. Um, what? He couldn’t spare 1.5 minutes to finish it…ugh.

    Reply

  63. So, hilarious letters, although I’m sure you’re serious and I think you should send the one to Norstroms and point your husband to your blog!
    And hello–the Smores bars look divine! I’m going to have to check out that book! And by check out, I mean go buy it on Amazon!

    Reply

  65. I could have written that one to the husband. We had the same conversation this week. It wasn’t pretty.

    And your husband is as picky as mine! Maybe moreso. I feel your pain there.

    (And, OK. It’s not really fried chicken, but it’s definitely better for him. That counts for something, right?)

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  69. The picture has me drooling. Looks so delicious. I love marshmallows, especially ones with a little “burn” to them! Love your letters….I found most drivers to be jerks. There is a nastiness that comes out in me when I get behind the wheel. Usually, I’m pretty calm but watch out when I drive…

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  70. These look incredible. I love smores but hate nuts, so I will try these minus the nuts.

    Oh and I feel you on the dishwasher. Apparently opening the door is just too much to handle.

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  71. Congrats on the 500 posts. Love the letters you wrote.

    I showed my husband those bars and his response was “can you make those tonight?” Sadly my pantry is lacking marshmallows and chocolate. So, I hope to make them by the end of the week.

    I was hoping you could help me with a really silly baking question. When you say “15-17 crackers” is that the whole long rectangular cracker (which looks like it’s perforated into 4 smaller crackers)? Or is it 15-17 of the smaller peices (like if you broke the big rectangle apart)? I’ve always been confused by recipes that give graham cracker counts and usually crush it up and measure it and get frustrated and find it never matches the recipe anyways so it doesn’t solve my problem.

    Please help, I’m clueless.
    Thanks!

    Reply

  73. Ha, ha, love the letters! I should really write down some of the ones I compose in my head– though they’re probably too weird to actually let anyone read. Anyway, congrats on your 500th post, someday when I have lots of time that will be a nice large archive to scroll through!

    Reply

  75. This was awesome! A lady once asked me when I was due with my baby, when there was no bun in the oven…I just lied to her and told her in a few weeks and it was a girl, and I even gave her a name (Olivia). Stupid lady.

    You’re a brilliant writer that tells is like it is and a wonderful baker! Keep it up!.

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  77. I “might” have ranted to the husband just two nights ago about his dishwasher skills. Might have. So, of course, I read him your letter tonight. He found it less funny that I did. Silly silly man.

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  78. Congrats on yr 500th, keep it going!

    Love the letters, mind if I copy the dear husband one? With a few alterations regarding putting the laundry away, and adressing the rest of the boys in this house re the dishwasher?

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  79. Many congrats on 500 posts! The smores bars look far too good. I already had a bunch of marshmallows today… stop making me want more! (Although, mine were not on fire. That could be my excuse to have a few more.)

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  80. Dear Peabody, I totally LOVED reading your banter & could have read dozens more! Could you do one for my hub too? He does try very hard though! LOL…fun,fun,fun all the way. Congrats on your 500th post, and these delish s’mores are a fab way to celebrate. Would love to lay my hands on that gorgeous book! xo

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  82. Congrats on the 500th post! Those S’Mores Bars look great. Hmm, someone who doesn’t like marshmallows, not surprised they don’t know how to open the dishwasher either. My husband always places the pizza box on the floor beside the garbage can instead of breaking down the box and putting it in the garbage. I considered trying to retrain him, but then I figured that he would make a big mess of crumbs, etc., every time he broke down a pizza box, and it might be best just to keep doing it myself. Perhaps if your husband learned to open the dishwasher he would only put dishes in the wrong places so that you would have to put everything in the right place anyway. Gotta pick your battles…

    The nerve of those salesclerks. Even if someone is pregnant I think it’s rude for strangers to comment on it, unless it’s a maternity wear store or similar place.

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  83. This is a great 500th post!

    That recipe looks really yummy, and I have a few letters I’d like to write, also.

    How about

    “Dear Very Busy Person on the Phone in the 10-Items-Or-Fewer Line With 17 Items…”

    Reply

  84. Awesome letters and congrats on hitting 500 posts! Love the recipe – I’ve been having lazy smores for dessert lately (graham cracker, nutella, marshmallow and 20 sec in the micro…mmmm). This sounds like an upgrade I should look into.

    Reply

  87. I love your letters. I’m sitting at my work desk and literally laughed out loud at the honda comment. thanks for the happy break in my day.

    Reply

  88. I’m glad my husbands weird, cuz I need to make these bars. No wait, if he was weird and didn’t like marshmallows I wouldn’t have to share. Okay. He’s weird. And if he’s not I’ll make him weird so I can have these all to myself.

    Reply

  89. Yeah, so it looks like we all have experience with that crappy Honda. I think he comes to Portland on weekends. I don’t always comment on posts. I know I should especially when I get such a charge out of them, so I’ll try to be better about it…especially since I know you read them. Congratulations on the 500 and to many more I hope! And what is it with Nordstrom salespeople anyway? I usually end up with the ones who ignore I’m there.
    Cheers!

    Reply

  94. Ugh, I know those ‘revvers’. Why they think anyone would be impressed with a beaten, half-dragging Toyota Camry (or insert ghetto car here) is beyond me. You should go to a community college, that’s where all the hot action happens (aka cheap mufflers to make the car louder).

    Reply

  95. Congratulations on post #500 Peabody! Your letters are priceless…..by the way….that sales associate at Nordstroms needed the stupid smacked right out of them!
    Boys in crap cars and husbands who can’t find the dishwasher….ah yes….and so it goes…….
    The S’mores Bars look sinfully wonderful…..

    Reply

  96. Dear Peabody,
    If this gets your hubby to actually put the dishes into the dishwasher, let me know…I might use the idea.
    WOOT on 500 posts!!
    Now I know what Smores were missing in Girl Scouts…the pecans. These look delish!

    Reply

  97. Happy 500! That first picture is amazing and I want to make these right away because of it.
    Oh and PS, Nordstroms needs to hire some more intelligent people.

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  100. LOL – great letters, and say what many of us think on these topics. The s’mores cookies look so decadent – yum. That book scared me too because I ain’t a decorator – I just don’t have the patience.

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  102. Dear Peabody-your letters are awesome-it is too late for me to be reading on the web but you had me laughing-duct tape and revving-is about as cool as my looking at your underwear and muffin top. Cannot criticize the spouse on where he puts the dishes-he may never touch them again on the grounds that you cannot find them? If you put stuff in their place you would not have to ask me where it is when it is staring at you.

    Reply

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