Dear Crazy Cocker Spaniel,
You with your big brown innocent eyes, soft fur, and breath that smells like you have licked every living things butt for the last 7 days; YOU need to stop trying to kill me. Don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to steal that power saw the other day. And when I caught you, you just flashed me the get out of jail free eyes. But I know better.
Just this morning you tried to off me by cutting in front of me as we walked down the stairs to go to the rest room. Trying to break free? I’ve seen you in the real world, you wouldn’t last a minute. You are afraid of card board boxes and shower curtains for goodness sakes. And fans. And bags. You see where I am going with this.
So stop trying to trip me when I am carrying things, they could fall on you and then who is the joke on? Technically still me since I would have to take you to the vet and hand over no doubt hundreds of dollars.
If you do kill me you will have access to all the food in the apartment that is correct. Of course access is a loose term since you haven’t been able to get to it yet when I leave you alone. I know you try, you leave evidence…stealth is not your style. So I am not sure what you think you are going to gain from all of this. Maybe I have been letting you watch too much Family Guy and watching Stewie try and plot Lois’ death…darn TV is rotting your brain.
So once again, it is in your best interest to keep me alive.
Sincerely,
Me
Becca says
My, that is one cute cocker spaniel. I giggled throughout your etire letter. Also, your dog isn’t the only one that gives “the eyes”; mine dose that everyday to either get food or if she wants up on the couch, so pretty much 24/7.
Lisa says
*grin* Tricksy animals! I hope she figures out that _you_ bring her food. 😀
hobby baker says
😀 Thanks for the LOL!
Angela says
My parent have a Cocker and he’s the sweetest, most gormless dog I’ve ever encountered, but it makes him so loveable. My cats, on the other hand, are determined to do me physical harm, lol! I tell them that I will fall much fast than they can run, but they haven’t listened yet. I guess it balances out, though, because I’m a super klutz and am always dropping stuff around them, unintentionally shocking the life out of them. 😀
Drea says
My cats are also guilty of this. It’s particularly dangerous when the stairway is dark. Don’t they realize who fills the food bowl??
Elizabeth says
haha. peabody has gone nuts!
Pamela says
THOUSANDS of $$$ at the vet.